Syriology

By Adnan Mouhiddin

One of the fundamental facts Arab children are fed throughout their education journey, and mainly during the primary school, is the advanced infrastructure in general and hospitals in particular in their countries. It goes without saying that His Highness, His Excellency and His Presidency (Arab leaders) are the fathers and the sponsors of such achievements. His Highness, His Excellency or His Presidency plays along “the source of inspiration” bit for all these achievements until, and sadly, his prostates fall ill which tantamount to national disaster. At this point, reality bites and he urgently flies to some American or European hospital to treat his prostates.

Now if you want to discuss the Arab-Israeli conflict, first you need to familiarize yourself with the prostate diplomacy. The prostates of Arab leaders are a matter of national importance. They, the prostates, must be kept safe, healthy and in functioning state. Their (the prostates) wellbeing is indispensable element in our national defence strategy and policy. Treating them takes priority over and above any other matter of national urgency.

Although our hospitals, according to our governments and their media statements, compete with the European and American hospitals in terms of standards,  treatment and expertise, their Highness, Excellency and Presidency travel to the West to treat their prostates. However, official newspapers and media report the visit to the US or Europe under disguised and misleading headlines such as:

His Highness is visiting the United States to discuss the latest developments in the Palestinian crisis and to lift the burden from the Palestinian people. 

The truth of the matter, however, is that His Highness is receiving treatment to lift the burden from his bladder which groans under the growth of his prostates. Another headline would read: 

His presidency is visiting France to discuss the outrageous crimes committed by the Israelis in the West Bank and Gaza.

Nothing has changed since 1948. “Supporting the Palestinian Struggle” is the excuse of Arab leaders for oppressing their nations, imposing emergency laws, overthrowing elected governments, building political prisons and suffocating basic freedoms. The “Palestinian Struggle” is why we have poor economies, uncontrollable army generals and corruption. So, why not hide behind the “Palestinian Struggle” when His Highness, His Excellency or His Presidency visit Europe or America to treat his prostates? Treating his prostates is a national struggle too. A struggle of other kind through. It is uneasy struggle when one has four wives and countless maids. Then, the prostates must work and function properly. His Highness, His Excellency and His Presidency can then think efficiently and continue the series of his unrivalled achievements on both the national level and the “Palestinian Struggle.” It is the eternal dialectical relationship between the Arab leader prostates and Palestine. It is the ‘Prostates Diplomacy’ at its best.